Super Wario Bros: Daily Life at Smash
by LucarioFan3
Summary: Ever wonder what Wario and Waluigi's life at the Smash tournament is like? No? Too bad, Waluigi time! Join the Wario Bros., Lucario, Falco, and many others through this insane collection of one-shots! Because this is what all true warriors strive for! T for Language, minor Death/ Blood, and minor Sexual Humor.
1. Ep 1: The King of Memes

**Episode 1: The King of Memes**

**Disclaimer: None of the characters are my property.**

It was your typical day at the Smash Grounds: the Smashers were smashing, Crazy Hand was spazzing, and Snake was snooping, as usual, through Samus' panty drawer. Only one thing was out of place: there was snow outside and it was so cold out you'd get frostbite nearly immediately. So, what were our favorite idiots, Wario and Waluigi, doing? Why, they were looking up memes on the Internet, of course!

"Waahaa! Pingas never gets old!" Waluigi laughed.

"You said it! Waa-haa-haa!" Wario added. Just then, someone knocked on the door.

"Maybe the pizza man's finally here!" Waluigi said.

"He better be, cause more than twenty minutes is long enough!" Wario said as he got up from his chair and waddled over to the door. He swung it open, revealing Lucario to be the knocker.

"Hey morons, Ma-" Wario interrupted the Aura Pokémon by punching him in the face, knocking him down to the floor. "Okay, what was that for?"

"You're not the pizza man. And since I'm mad, I have the right to punch you," the yellow clad plumber replied.

"Your logic is about as good as a dung beetle's," Lucario said as he got up. "I'd like to find one person in this entire galaxy who is stupider than you two dunces.

"Oh bread, oh bread, how I love you, ohhhh how I love you!" Falco sang as he waltzed by with a bunch of trash in his hands.

"Falco, that's not bread," Lucario said. "That's a day old doughnut, three dirty diapers, and an embarrassing photo of Luigi at the Christmas party."

"So, my bread is missing?!" Falco asked in shock. "I'll save you, bread!"

"Well, looks like I found someone stupider than you complete morons already," Lucario said as he turned back to Wario. "But that doesn't change the fact that you two are insanely stupid."

"Whatever," Wario muttered. "Whaddya want, anyways?"

"I'm here to give you this," the blue jackal Pokémon replied as he handed a small device to Mario's rival. "Apparently, Master Hand wants you to watch over this thing, as he doesn't want Crazy Hand to find it."

"So, what is it?" Wario asked.

"The heck should I know, I'm just the delivery boy," Lucario answered. "Whatever you do, don't mess around with that thing."

"Whatever, flea bag," Wario said as he slammed the door shut. "Hey Waluigi, I got something we can mess around with!"

"Didn't Lucario say to NOT mess around with that thing?" Waluigi asked.

"Of course he did, but we're too cool for that blue flea transporter's nonsense! Besides, we have to, it's in the script."

"Oh yeah," Waluigi muttered as he looked over the script. "So, we're supposed to plug this thing into the computer and-"

"Sshhh, don't say anything else!" Wario interrupted. "They're watching us!"

"Who's watching us?!" the purple clad plumber asked in panic.

"The fan fic readers, duh!" Wario responded as he moved over to his pal. "Them and... Squidward's House!"

"Whatever," Waluigi muttered. "Let's just get to work." About six minutes later, the two "dim light bulbs" finally plugged the device into the computer, ready to find out what this thing does.

"All right, so now what do we do?" Wario inquired.

"Press ALL the buttons!" Waluigi yelled as he mashed on the keyboard, Wario joining nearly immediately.

"That did nothing!" Wario said a few seconds later, stopping the button mashing.

"Maybe we need to throw toilet paper at it?" Waluigi thought out loud, scratching his oversized chin.

"Great idea! I'll go get some!" the yellow plumber replied as he rushed out the door. He came back into the room a few moments later with a wagon full of toilet paper rolls. "I got these from the girl's bathroom. Pretty sure Snake was in there, expanding his dong."

"I did NOT need to know that!" Waluigi responded as he threw a roll at the monitor. The two stupid plumbers kept throwing toilet paper until they ran out of rolls.

"That failed too!" Wario shouted. "I think we need to tickle it!"

"Of course! Waahaa!" Waluigi muttered as he pulled out a feather from his back pocket. The purple clad dunce tickled the monitor until it exploded, leaving a lot of smoke in the room. It eventually cleared, revealing a human that looked very similar to Luigi, only he looked stiff and awkward.

"It... it... is WEEGEE!" Wario shouted. "The King of Memes!"

"I wouldn't go that far," Waluigi muttered.

"Mortal fools! I am not the "King of Memes"!" Weegee yelled. "I am the King of the World!"

"Phaa, you stereotypical villain!" Waluigi responded. "You aren't able to rule the planet!"

"Oh really!" Weegee replied as his eyes turned red. "I'll give you fucking morons a mere sample of my massive power!" The Luigi doppelganger then fired a large and powerful laser from his eyes, destroying what remained of the room, also sending the dumb duo flying.

**XxXx**

Meanwhile, Falco was eating food from the trash can, with Lucario spying on the pilot space bird. The two were on the Prism Tower stage.

"I swear, Falco is so freaking weird," the aura Pokémon said as the two flying plumbers were headed straight for him.

"Waaaaaaaaa!" Wario and Waluigi yelled as they crashed into the ground, crushing Lucario.

"Too bad that didn't kill me," Lucario muttered as the dunce duo got up.

"Lucario, Falco, you guys need to help us! Weegee came to life and is trying to take over the planet!" Wario panicked.

"How did that happen?" Lucario asked with disbelief.

"Well, we messed around with that thing we weren't supposed to..." Waluigi muttered.

"You dolts! I told you to NOT play around with that device!" Lucario scolded the two dimwits.

"Well, it was either that or have a bland and uninteresting plot!" Wario argued.

"A BLAND AND UNINTERESTING PLOT WOULD BE MUCH BETTER THAN OUR UTTER DEMISE, YOU FAT BUFFOON!" Lucario shouted on the top of his lungs.

"What?!" Weegee yelled as landed behind Wario and Waluigi. "You insane morons are still alive?!"

"We'll finish this later," Lucario told the twin plumbers and Falco. "Let's just take out this joker!"

"That's it!" Weegee yelled. "You'll regret saying that once I'm through with you, pathetic mortal!"

"We'll see about that, you overused meme!" Lucario shouted as he launched an Aura Sphere towards the Luigi doppelganger. Weegee easily dodged it as he lunged towards the Pokémon, landing a hard kick on him. Lucario was sent flying into the trash can. "Too bad that didn't kill me either," Lucario muttered.

"My food!" Falco roared, turing towards Weegee. "You shall taste the wrath of bread!" He then chucked a loaf of bread at Weegee. However, because Falco is a horrible thrower, the bread landed six feet away from Weegee.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Weegee rhetorically asked. "You're worse than those damn dimwits over there!"

"Hey, we resent that!" Wario angrily responded. Weegee's reply was a laser beam to the faces of the weirdos. Their faces were now black from soot.

"OK, that's the last straw!" Waluigi roared as he lunged towards the living meme, his tennis racket in his left hand. The purple pest tried to smack Weegee, but the meme countered with punches, with one punch eventually landing on Waluigi, sending him flying upwards. Wario then charged for Weegee, but was stopped by a powerful kick.

"You're going down, Green Mario!" Falco taunted as used his Falco Phantasm move.

"The name's not Green Mario!" Weegee roared as he charged for Falco, surrounded by a purple aura. The two smashed into each other, but since Weegee's attack was stronger, Falco was the only one who took damage. The space pilot was sent flying into another trash can.

"This battle's not over yet!" Lucario shouted as he got on his feet.

"Haa! Pathetic mortal, just give it up!" Weegee taunted. "You can't win, I am Weegee, ruler of the world! You will never stop me!"

"Those two dimwits were right, you are just a stereotypical antagonist," Lucario taunted as he started charging up a massive Aura Sphere.

"We will see who the damn stereotype really is!" the Luigi doppelganger replied as he started charging up an eye laser. Once the two attacks were finished charging, the two fired them. The instant the Aura Sphere and the laser collided, a massive explosion filled the stage. Weegee teleported away in time, but Lucario took much damage and was sent all the way to the Gerudo Valley stage, where Link and Yoshi were having a brawl. He landed right on the bridge of said stage.

"Lucario? What the heck are you doing?" Yoshi asked as he walked up to the blue Pokémon.

"Ask those two!" Lucario shouted as Wario and Waluigi approached the three fellow Smashers.

"Oh sure, blame the guys who brought Weegee to life, who is now ruining the place," Wario muttered.

"The hell is a Weegee?" Link asked.

"It's an overused Internet meme," Lucario replied as he got up. "He's highly overpowered. Pretty sure his power level is over 9000."

"And he's stereotypical," Waluigi added as Sonic, Snake, and Falco approached the other Smashers.

"Hey, who is the guy firing lasers from the roof of the Smasher's Palace?!" Snake growled.

"We'll explain later," Wario said. "Either way, I have a plan!"

"Probably a plan to get us all killed," Lucario groaned. Wario glared at him for a moment before continuing.

"As I was saying, my plan is that you guys go distract Weegee while Waluigi and I sneak back into the palace to see if that device thingy is still intact!"

"I knew it," Lucario thought. "A plan to get it all of us killed."

"As much as I hate this plan, count me in," Yoshi muttered.

"Great! Good luck, morons!" Waluigi shouted as the Wario Bros. ran off.

"The rest of us didn't agree to this crappy plan though!" Link shouted.

"Let's just get this over with," Sonic muttered as he, Yoshi, Lucario, and Snake rushed over to the palace.

**XxXx**

Wario and Waluigi managed to sneak inside the Smasher's Palace without being detected by Weegee. The dunces waddled their way to the remains of the room, and surprisingly, the device was perfectly unharmed.

"Now with only one thing to do!" Wario said. "Find the computer room!"

"Gee, where have I heard that before?" Waluigi sarcastically asked.

"Hey, this episode's all about memes, how can you expect me to not bring up the "Find the computer room" meme?" Wario rhetorically asked.

"Whatever," Waluigi said. "Let's get moving." Just then, a train rode on through the hallway.

"Follow that train!" Wario shouted as the duo climbed onto Wario's motorcycle to chase after it. Waluigi pulled out an AK47 and began shooting bullets at the train.

"Is there a reason as to why I'm shooting the train?" Waluigi questioned.

"Probably," Wario responded. "Do I care? No."

**XxXx**

Meanwhile, on the roof, Weegee was fighting off Lucario, Yoshi, Falco, Snake, Sonic, and Link. Yoshi tossed an egg at the villain, but he destroyed it with a laser beam.

"Geez, this guy is something else!" Sonic remarked.

"You said it," Snake replied, throwing a grenade. "Weegee is fucking powerful."

"Just where are the Wario Bros. when you need them?!" Link impatiently asked.

**XxXx**

At Dr. Mario's office, on the second floor of the palace, R.O.B. moved out into the hallway, and Dr. Mario was sticking his head out of the door.

"Just come back if you are not feeling quite all right," the doctor said as he went back into his office, leaving his door open.

"THANK YOU, DOCTOR," R.O.B. replied in his overly robotic voice. Wario and Waluigi then drove through, still shooting and chasing the train.

"The truth will be revealed!" Wario shouted as he and the train rushed down the halls. R.O.B.'s arms fell off in a response to the very stupid event that just occurred and and the robot went back into the office.

**XxXx**

"Geez, and people call ME emo," Shadow remarked. He was sitting in front of a computer monitor, watching a terrible YouTube video. "This guy cuts himself for horrible reasons."

"Could be way worse," Mega Man said as he walked towards the hedgehog. "I mean, at least it's not Mishonh from God."

"I did a commentary on that show with some guy called "LucarioFan3" once. Thank the gods that was cancelled, that experience was horrible."

"WWWWAAAAAAA!" Wario and Waluigi screamed as they broke into the computer room, falling off their motorcycle.

"As if today couldn't get any weirder," Shadow muttered.

"All we had to do was follow the dang train, Waluigi!" Wario shouted.

"Nice Grand Theft Auto reference," Mega Man commented.

"Now we'll never make it to the computer room!" Waluigi shouted.

"Are you two blind?" Shadow asked. "This IS the computer room."

"Nah, there are too many computers for this to be the computer room," Waluigi muttered. "But, oh well. We'll just use one of these."

"You two are overly stupid," Mega Man muttered. The Wario Bros. ignored his insult as they knocked Shadow off the chair he was sitting on.

"Hey, what do you idiots think you're doing?!" Shadow asked as he got up.

"We're saving the world!" Wario replied.

"With style!" Waluigi added.

**XxXx**

"You know, there is a thing called "giving up"?"

"We refuse to lose to the likes of you!" Falco shouted. "Evil monsters like you and Scott Walker must be eliminated!"

"Scott Walker? Falco, what are you going on about?" Lucario asked.

"Scott Walker is evil I tell you!" Falco answered. "He was the one who brought the walkers to haunt the Earth in "The Smashing Dead"!"

"That is just a TV show, Falco," Snake said. "A TV show not even close to completion, I might add."

"Not to mention that Scott Walker hasn't even appeared in the show yet," Sonic added. Meanwhile, Weegee was busy using his phone to type up a post for yet another "I gotta say" thread on GameFAQs, while the heroes kept arguing over whether Scott Walker is evil or not.

"Why, hello boys!" Wario said as he and Waluigi came out of nowhere.

"Oh, it's you two imbeciles," Weegee muttered as he put his phone away. "Whelp, time for you to die!" The Luigi doppelganger started to charge another eye laser. "Goodbye, vermin!"

"You wish it was that easy!" Wario shouted. "I'm firin' mah lazor!" Wario then shot a laser beam from his mouth, while Weegee unleashed his eye laser. The two attacks collided, balancing each other out, before causing a miniature explosion.

"What?! Unfeasible! What is this witchcraft?!" Weegee questioned with amazement.

"It's called "Meme Power"!" Wario shouted.

"That, and the fact that the good guys always win," Waluigi added.

"We'll see about that!" Weegee taunted as he lunged for the dimwit duo. Waluigi quickly pulled out a toaster and began firing buring pieces of toast at the villain.

"All toasters toast toast!" the purple pest roared as the fiery toast smashed into Weegee, preventing him from moving.

"Shrek is love, Shrek is life!" Wario roared as he shot a Shrek clone out from a bazooka. Weegee was sent flying from the attack, nearly over the roof.

"I... refuse to go down so easily!" the Luigi impersonator yelled as he got up.

"Oh yeah?! Maybe you will once you see our ultimate weapon: the Dinner Blaster!" Waluigi taunted as he lifted the large bazooka.

"A-a-a Dinner Blaster?!" Weegee stuttered. "Impossible! No!"

"And we filled it with lotsa spaghetti!" Wario added.

"Not lotsa spaghetti!" Weegee begged.

"Expecting mercy?" Waluigi asked rhetorically. "Too bad, Wario and Waluigi time!"

"NNNNOOOOOOO!" Weegee shouted before he was pelted with lotsa spaghetti, sending him flying off towards the sky. "Don't think you've won, Wario Bros.! I will return! I swear it!"

"You can't swear!" Wario shouted. "Only eighties, edgy Weegee can swear!"

"Yeah, and I got cancelled for it!" a much edgier looking Weegee who appeared out of nowhere replied.

"But I've already swore in this episode on multiple occasions!" Weegee replied.

"Don't worry, you'll still be in future episodes, it's in the script!" Waluigi yelled.

"Oh phew, that's a relief!" the Luigi look-a-like said as he disappeared from sight.

"I don't believe it," Sonic muttered. "Their plan actually worked."

"I guess the Wario Bros. aren't so stupid after all," Snake added.

"Wonderful, bravo!" Master Hand boomed as he approached the Smashers. "The device actually worked!"

"What are you talking about, Master Hand?!" Yoshi asked with suspicion.

"My guess is that he wanted to ruin our lives!" Lucario shouted.

"Get him!" Snake shouted as he, Sonic, Lucario, Yoshi, and Link chased him.

"Wait! You don't understand! Please stop!" Master Hand pleaded as he ran from the enraged Smashers.

"Well, all is well, that ends well!" Falco said happily.

"Yeah, but knowing Master Hand, he'll want us to get rid of our meme powers..." Wario sadly muttered. "I at least want to keep the Dinner Blaster..."

"Betcha he could hide it from him!" Waluigi pointed out.

"Oh yeah! Waa-haa-haa" Wario laughed.

"Pizza delivery" some guy next to the trio said.

"Stranger danger!" Wario shouted as he punched the guy off the roof.

"Uuuhhhhh Wario? You do realize that was the pizza guy, right?" Waluigi asked.

"Dang it!" the yellow pest shouted. "Curse you, anvil of irony!" A giant anvil then fell from the sky, crushing Wario.

"I don't get it," Falco said.


	2. Ep 2: Smashing Music Video

**Episode 2: Smashing Music Video**

"I'm bored," Wario muttered as he laid on his bed.

"Me too," Waluigi replied as he turned off the TV. "I know! Let's go do something stupid on the Internet!"

"Wonderful idea! Waahaa!" the yellow pest laughed as he jumped off the bed and rushed to their new computer. Wario sat on the chair while his pal looked over shoulder.

"So, where should we start our chaos today?" Waluigi asked.

"Where else?" Wario replied. "YouTube, of course! Let's what nonsense is going on there today..."

"Waa? What's that video?" Waluigi inquired.

"Let's see... Anaconda? What kind of video has that for a name?" Wario replied.

"I dunno, check it out," the purple idiot said.

**XxXx**

Falco was walking through the halls of the Smasher's Palace, looking for the Wario Bros.

"Heya Falco, what are you up to?" Duck Hunt Dog, who was leaning against the wall, said.

"Looking for Wario. You seen him?" Falco asked.

"He should be in his room," the talking dog answered.

"Thanks," the blue bird said as he rushed down the hall. Eventually, he final made it to the Wario Bros.' room. He knocked on the door quietly.

"Hiya hiya hiya Falco!" Crazy Hand greeted as he roamed the hallway. "What are ya doing?"

"Waiting to get in here. I need to see Wario."

"Are you sure he's in there?" Crazy asked.

"I hear noise in there, so I'm pretty sure." Just then, the door swung open. The bird and the hand took a look inside, noticing the Wario Bros.' faces froze in shock.

"Wario, Waluigi, are you OK?!" Crazy asked in fear.

"Quick, punch them!" Falco ordered, smacking the yellow plumber.

"Hey, what was that for?!" Wario shouted as he regained focus.

"What happened to you guys?!" Crazy spazzed. "Did you eat too many prunes again?"

"No, we watched this music video called "Anaconda"," Wario replied. "Even I find it overly ignorant and disgusting... and now that I think about it, that video is perfect for parodying!"

"Then let's do it! Let's get on with a parody and show it to everyone!" Crazy commented.

"And then we can post it on YouTube! Brilliant!" Falco added.

"First, we need props and advertising equipment! Let's go fetch some!" Wario ordered. The three morons ran out of the room, leaving a still frozen Waluigi by himself. Wario quickly grabbed him and ran back out.

**XxXx**

Wario ran throughout the halls, looking for a camera to record the video. He broke into Snake's room, finding one on top of his drawer. The yellow dunce grabbed it and looked at the recorded video, which was Snake spying on Zelda. Wario shook his head and ran out.

**XxXx**

Falco snuck into Pit and Dark Pit's room for pencils. Instead, he found Dark Pit's staff. Being completely idiotic, he picked it up and fired it, destroying the window of the room. Deciding it was worth keeping, he ran out the room, completely forgetting the pencils.

**XxXx**

Crazy Hand was searching for lots of paper. He eventually found a huge hoard of it in Robin's room. However, upon touching the first sheet, he got a paper cut, causing him to fly all around the room in pain, wrecking the walls and knocking things over.

**XxXx**

Waluigi was in Master Hand's office, looking for pencils. He crawled onto the hand's giant desk, finding a big pencil. He picked it up and started doodling on some nearby paper. The end result was a highly realistic and attractive drawing of Peach. To his surprise however, it came to life, and walked out the door, with the idiot plumber in pursuit. The drawing eventually found Snake, who took notice of the female doodle. The two walked over to each other and started making out. However, this gave Waluigi a chance to erase the false Peach, which highly enraged Snake. Waluigi ran as fast as he could from the soldier, hoping he could get away.

**XxXx**

Wario was in Samus and Zelda's room, looking for panties. He found plenty, but he also found a crumbled up piece of paper. The dunce unfolded it, revealing a love letter to Marth, signed by Samus. He immediately threw up in the drawer in disgust of the letter and wandered off with the clean panties.

**XxXx**

The four idiots were gathered around a table in the basement of the palace. Everything they had gotten was on the table: the camera, Dark Pit's staff, the pile of paper, the giant pencil, the panties, the Dinner Blaster, lotsa spaghetti, some bras, Crazy Hand's nail polish, DK's Coconut Gun, and Peach's diary.

"Good job, fellas!" Wario cheered. "We got everything we need!"

"So, we can start recording, right?" Crazy asked.

"Yep!" Waluigi responded. "I also managed to get two other actors as well: aka, those guys over there."

"I'm only in this for the money," Toad said as he and Tingle stepped out from the shadows.

"I'm in this because of the bras!" Tingle shouted. Everyone looked at him oddly.

"G-g-great!" Wario cheered awkwardly. "Crazy, you get to work on advertising while we start shooting."

"What are you guys shooting, turkey?" Crazy questioned.

"Of course! What did you think I stole the Coconut Gun for, so we blame Dark Pit for it and have Donkey Kong wreck the place for it?! Waluigi responded.

"OK. See you dudes later," Crazy Hand spazzed as he left with the pencil and the paper.

**XxXx**

A few hours later, Wario and his gang had finally finished filming. The pest, along with Waluigi, and Tingle, were looking for Crazy Hand. They found him hanging up a large, purple banner next to the cafeteria.

"Do you like the banner, Wario?" Crazy inquired. The banner read "Tonite, 9 O click, at teh Smesh Tetter, Wario and palz present teh funniezt ting in existence! Shoe uup, or Pedobear will finland u!"

"10 out of 10 material!" Tingle shouted. "Perfect advertising campaign!"

"Yeah!" Wario added. "Falco and Toad are editing the video right now. It should be ready by seven."

"Great!" Crazy responded. "Now what do we do?"

"More turkey shooting?" Tingle suggested.

"Alright, but don't aim for any Cuccos this time!" Waluigi ordered. "I don't want my butt handed to me by a bunch of birds... for the third time today." The group of four left the place, off to grab their weapons. Ness and Bowser Jr. happened to stop by the banner and read it.

"Who's stupid enough to fall for that whole "Pedobear" threat?" Ness rhetorically asked the Koopa Prince.

"Yeah, he doesn't exist!" Bowser Jr. replied.

"Hey, kids!" a random voice from behind the two children said. The duo looked behind them to see a large, bipedal bear with an awkward stare.

"IT'S PEDOBEAR RUN!" Ness shouted as he and Jr. ran away from the creepy bear.

**XxXx**

By around nine, many of the Smashers had already arrived at the Smash Theater. Ness and Jr. were hiding underneath some of the chairs to avoid a certain bear, Lucario was sitting in the far back to stay away from whatever nonsense that was certain to happen, Link was sitting at the very front with a camera to record the whole mess, Dark Pit was choking Lucas, furiously asking him where his staff was, Pichu was eating Shadow's popcorn while the hedgehog was busy yelling at Yoshi, Snake was spying on Wii Fit Trainer, and Ganondorf was trying to get a good view, but King Dedede kept moving in front of him whenever he sat down. Everyone else was acting normal, finding a spot to sit.

"Laderps and gentlemorons!" Crazy spazzed as he got up on stage. "Today, we present the funniest thing ever to you! Now sit back, and watch as your dong expands!"

"Dong expansion? Really?" Marth said.

"This will end horrendously," Master Hand thought to himself. Everyone settled down and began watching the film. A bunch of boring ads popped up, promoting Falcon Punch, Waluigi's Taco Stand, and Weegee's Even Better Taco Stand. Eventually, the title name showed up: "WAA-conda".

"WAA-conda? What?" Lucario asked.

"I'm not even sure I want to know," Meta Knight muttered. The music then finally started.

"My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't want none unless you got dinner hun!" Wario was busy breakdancing while Waluigi has doing acrobats.

"Dear lord, what is this bullcrap?!" Snake said.

"Boy toy named Roy used to live in Dededetroit!" A picture of Roy Koopa showed up on the massive screen.

"That's me!" Roy shouted.

"Big dong dealer money, he was getting some Rupees!" Now, the film was showing Wario, was beginning to strip.

"MY EYES!" Ike shouted while Villager ran out of the room, ready to throw up.

"Now I'm glad I can't see this. Thanks Dedede," Ganondorf muttered.

"Was in shootouts with the law, but he live in a Smasher's Palace!" Toad was shooting cops with Dark Pit's staff.

"That's where my staff went!" Dark Pit shouted.

"Sir, enjoy the film!" Waluigi shouted as he shot the edgy angel with the staff.

"Bought me Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me top tierish," Wario, now in only a bra and panties, was breakdancing again.

"How am I still alive, exactly?" Shadow wondered.

"Now that's bread, bread, bread! Gun in my butt, I came dressed to fart!" Wario was now on the Onett stage, releasing a Wario Waft attack on Snake and Sonic.

"Why must I be reminded of that moment?" Sonic asked.

"Who wanna go first? I had them losing stocks!" Falco was now firing his lasers at Pikachu on the Great Cave Offensive stage.

"I'm high as hell, Waluigi ate Mr. Krabs' pill," Wario was on Skyworld, chomping on Pit on one half of the screen, while Waluigi was eating a massive pill on the other.

"I still have bite marks from that moment..." Pit muttered.

"I'm hating on Dark Pit," Wario and Falco were now attacking the edgy angel on Green Hill Zone.

"Good thing he's still out cold," Rosalina said.

"By the way, what he say? He can tell I ain't missing no meals!" Wario was now in the panties again, twerking.

"Everyone knows Wario doesn't miss on meals," Meta Knight whispered.

"Sweet Naga, I'm gonna hurl!" Lucina shouted as she ran out.

"Come through and eat 'em in my automobile," Wario and Waluigi, both in panties, were eating Maxim Tomatoes in Wario's car.

"Say, aren't those my panties?!" Samus questioned.

"Madame, enjoy the film!" Waluigi shouted as he fired the staff again.

"Falco be eatin' it, all of Dr. Mario's pill, with no fever or chill!" Falco, also in panties, was eating a pill.

"That's not what they are prescribed for," Dr. Mario muttered.

"He keep telling me it's real, that he love my WAA appeal," Wario and Waluigi were breakdancing again.

"WAA appeal?" Luigi said.

"Because he don't like 'em Dry Boney, he want something he can grab!" Mario was seen jumping on some Dry Bones.

"That's offensive!" Bowser roared.

"Enjoy the film!" Waluigi shouted as he once again fired the staff.

"So I pulled up in the WAA, and I hit 'em with the jab like... WAA-W-W-WAA-WAA-W-W-WAA-WAA!"

"Just what?" Yoshi said.

"My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't want none unless you got dinner hun! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Look at her spaghetti! Look at her spaghetti!" Tingle was now eating lotsa spaghetti.

"Now I'm hungry," Lucas said.

"This dude named Wario likes to ride motorcycles. Pingas bigger than a tower, I ain't talking about Prism's!" Wario was riding his Wario Bike across the Prism Tower stage, running over Samus.

"Prism Tower doesn't have a... wait, what?!" Lucario said.

"Real country donkey guy, let me play with his rifle. Weegee put his butt to sleep, now he calling me Cyndaquil," Wario was now petting a Cyndquil.

"That makes no sense," Toon Link said.

"Now that bread bread bread. I tell you hwut, Hank brought the Propane!" Tingle was now driving a Propane truck.

"Who's Hank?" Pikachu asked.

"He toss my salad like his name Romaine, and I don't know anymore but Balmain!" Wario and Tingle were breakdancing in panties.

"Pardon me!" Zelda said as she ran out of the room, ready to barf.

"I'm still hating on Dark Pit," The clip featuring Wario, Falco, and Dark Pit played again.

"He's still out cold?" Elec Man asked.

"By the way, what he say? He can tell I ain't missing no meals! Come through and eat 'em in my automobile. Falco be eatin' it, all of Dr. Mario's pill, with no fever or chill! He keep telling me it's real, that he love my WAA appeal. Because he don't like 'em Dry Boney, he want something he can grab! So I pulled up in the WAA, Mayweather with the jab like... WAA-W-W-WAA-WAA-W-W-WAA-WAA!"

"Is it over yet?" Peach muttered.

"My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't want none unless you got dinner hun! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my gosh, look at her spaghetti! Look at her spaghetti! Look at her spaghetti!"

"Please end soon," Popo said.

"Little in the middle but she got much dinner! Little in the middle but she got much dinner! Little in the middle but she got much dinner! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti!" Wario and Toad were now eating as much food as they can.

"The end is near!" Magnus said.

"My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't want none unless you got dinner hun! (Don't don't don't) My Pingas don't... (Don't don't don't) Don't want none unless you got dinner hun!" Wario, Waluigi, Falco and Tingle were all breakdancing. "Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti!" Toad was eating a whole Wario statue made of spaghetti.

"Let's make it through, people!" Greninja said.

"Yeah, he love this fat dong! Yeah! This one is for my Smashers with a fat dong in the stinking club! I said, "Where my fat dong big Smashers in the club?" WAA those skinny Smashers," Wario was performing a guitar solo.

"How does Waluigi not find this offensive?" Jigglypuff asked.

"WAA those skinny Smashers in the club, I wanna see all the big dong Smashers in the motherstinking club, WAA you if you skinny Smashers. What? Waluigi time! Yeah. I got a big fat dong. Come on!"

"You know... that was actually rather funny," Mega Man said.

"Better than the original song," Olimar replied. Robin then began to get up and clap. Mario did so as well, followed by Ashley, Charizard, and Wolf. Soon, nearly everyone was up and clapping for Wario.

"You people like this intolerable garbage?!" Lucario shouted.

"Now now, Lucario, don't be a Squidward," Meta Knight replied.

"Even I have to admit, that was hilarious!" Master Hand chuckled.

"Waahaa! Success!" Waluigi cheered.

"This only the beginning!" Wario said. "Wait until YouTube sees this!"

"Say, how about we play this other video?" Falco asked, messing around with the camera.

"Sure, whatever," Wario muttered as he got off stage. After a few minutes, the video started playing.

"This is Snake..." on the screen was the soldier's face.

"Wait, Snake?" Ness asked.

"So, they're the ones who took my camera!" Snake shouted.

"I am recording this because Zelda is very hot," the screen then showed Zelda in a battle against Dr. Mario. The camera stopped frequently to see up Zelda's dress.

"So, you were trying to get a look, huh?!" Zelda angrily asked as rushed over to Snake.

"Zelda, I can explain..." the soldier begged.

"Then explain it to the Cuccos!" the princess roared as an army of chickens charged for Snake. He got up and ran for an exit as fast as he could as the birds attacked him.

"WHAAAGHH!" Snake shouted as he ran out of the room.

"Snake? Snake?! Snake!" a random voice shouted.

**XxXx**

An hour later, Wario, Falco, and Tingle, were in the Wario Bros. room, taking a look at "WAA-conda" on YouTube.

"Amazing! One million views in just thirty minutes!" Wario exclaimed.

"We've made the spotlight!" Falco cheered.

"Just wait until tomorrow, then there will be way more!" Tingle added.

"We're YouTube Stars, baby!" Wario cheered.

"And the Kings of Parodies!" Tingle replied.

"The Internet shall know our names!" Falco added.

**XxXx**

"Encore! Encore! Encore!" the crowed cheered as Waluigi and Toad were talking back stage.

"They want an encore! Magnificent!" Toad cheered.

"Well, if it's an encore they want, then it's an encore they'll get!" Waluigi said.

**XxXx**

"Shame they didn't do an encore, eh Sonic?" Yoshi asked.

"You never know, maybe they're still getting ready," Sonic answered as he got a bag of popcorn.

"If they really wanted to do an encore showing, I'm sure they would have announced it now," the green dino replied as he grabbed a cup of orange juice. "I mean, what are the odds that they'll announce one once I'm finished with this sentence?"

"Dear Smashers," Master Hand's voice boomed over the intercoms. "There will be a reshowing of "WAA-conda in five minutes. Please return to your seats if you wish to rewatch it."

"Heh, I'd say there's a one hundred percent chance of that, Yoshi!" Sonic said before dashing off.

"Oh, the anvil of irony," Yoshi muttered as he went back into the seating area. With three minutes, nearly everyone was back, ready to enjoy the reshowing. Ganondorf was relaxing in his eat, munching on some popcorn.

"Man, I really want to watch it now," the Gerudo said. "If it's as good as everyone says it was, I might just have a "laughter attack"." Just then, Dedede sat right in front of the evil tyrant.

"This looks like a good spot," the Dream Land king said as he cracked his neck.

"God damnit..." Ganondorf whispered as he got up and moved a few seats over.

"Eh, I'm not really feeling it from this spot," King Dedede said as he got up and moved in front of Ganon again.

"Again?!" Ganondorf whispered as he got up again and moved a row back.

"I'm not feeling it here either," the penguin said as got up and moved in front of Ganondorf again.

"GWAAAAAGGHHHH!" Ganon shouted.

"Sir, enjoy the film!" Waluigi yelled as he shot a blast from Dark Pit's staff, hitting the Gerudo.


	3. Ep 3: Weegee's Return

**Episode 3: Weegee's Return**

It was another snowy day at the Smash Grounds. The cold, but dedicated Mail Toad was fighting against the cold December weather to make it to the mailbox. But he was in for a surprise.

"Hhhhiiiii Mail Toad!" Waluigi screamed as he popped his head out of the mailbox. The poor Toad screamed in terror as he ran away, dropping the mail. "OK, see ya later! Waa!" The purple moron pulled himself out of the tiny, metal box, with Wario popping out a few seconds later.

"How did we manage to fit in there?" Wario asked as he straightened his hat.

"Because this whole fanfic is filled with unusual circumstances. You must expect the unexpected to survive," his pal answered.

"Like expecting Link to get crushed by a Thwomp?"

**XxXx**

A battle was going on in the Green Hill Zone stage. It was Fox and Luigi against Link and Dark Pit, all four were on their final stock, but Fox and Luigi were on the verge of being KO'd, while the Hylian and angel's percent were clean zeros.

"It's gonna end here," Link muttered as he pulled out a bomb. However, he was crushed by a giant Thwomp before he could do anything else, sending his damage percent to Over 9000. Fox went up to the Thwomp and destroyed it with a Side Smash. Luigi stepped on Link's stunned body, sending him flying out of the stage and out of the Smash Grounds.

"DAMN IT, WARIO!" Link shouted as he reached the clouds.

**XxXx**

"Why yes, Wario," Waluigi said as he picked up some mail.

"So, what does this dump have for mail today?" Wario questioned.

"Let's see, junk mail, junk mail, junk mail, taxes, junk mail, junk mail, a check worth one million dollars, junk mail, Captain Toad ad, politcial junk mail, hey, mail for you, Wario!" Waluigi said.

"Give me that!" the dunce roared as he grabbed the letter. "Dear Wario, you have just won a trip to some stupid island for no apparent reason! Totally legit! You may bring up to nine friends! Please come unarmed," Wario read out loud.

"Amazing!" Waluigi cheered. "Let's go tell everybody and start packing!"

**XxXx**

"Remind me why I actually bothered to come with you imbeciles?" Lucario asked as he carried his luggage onto the boat that would take them to their destination.

"Because, if you refused, we would make you watch WAA-conda again, remember?" Waluigi answered.

"I can't believe you guys actually enjoyed that video," the Aura Pokémon replied.

"You're just jealous because you can't even make a half as good video," Wario said.

"Can you guys quit bickering?" Snake ordered.

"When you quit sneaking into the girl's bathroom," Waluigi taunted.

**XxXx**

Five hours later, Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Lucario, Snake, Mr. Game and Watch, Yoshi, Duck Hunt Dog, Wii Fit Trainer, and Lucina had finally arrived on the island.

"Sure was nice of some random guy to invite us here in the tropic, eh Waluigi?" Wario asked.

"I hope they made lotsa spaghetti!" Waluigi responded.

"Everyone, look! Lotsa spaghetti!" Falco yelled, pointing to a huge plate of spaghetti.

"I told you!" Waluigi bragged as Wii Fit, Snake, Falco, Yoshi, and Lucina ran for the pasta.

"Something's not right," Lucario said. "What kind of dunce other than Falco would leave a huge plate of pasta out in the open like this?"

"Who cares, spaghetti is spaghetti!" Waluigi yelled as he ran for the pasta as well. Just as he was about to get his fair share, a cage surrounded the massive pile of food, capturing the five of the ten Smashers, before teleporting out of sight.

"No!" Wario shouted. "Our pasta!"

"I told you!" Lucario bragged.

"Shut up, only I can say that," Waluigi said before pushing the Pokémon over.

"Well well, if it isn't the "Wario Boobs"!" A familiar voice from the sky shouted.

"Weegee!" Wario shouted as he looked up. The stiff Luigi doppelganger was floating overhead in some strange mech. "Snooping as usual, I see!"

"You're as fucking stupid as usual," Weegee cursed. "You fell nearly perfectly into my trap!"

"Hand over our friends!" Lucario commanded.

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't do that!" Weegee replied. "Let's just see if you are able to save your friends or not! Meet me at my stereotypical castle, and we shall duel!" The Luigi faker floated away laughing.

"He's the same, old, stereotypical villain," Lucario muttered.

"Well, we gotta go rescue them!" Game and Watch said.

"But first, a word from our sponser: Waluigi's Taco Stand!" Wario and Waluigi said.

"This isn't a TV show, you morons!" Lucario shouted as he grabbed the two plumbers.

**XxXx**

Weegee was standing in between two signs, both of which guiding passerby down one of two trails. One trail lead down to Weegee's Castle, the other to an entrance to the Internet. In an attempt to thwart the Wario Bros., the evil being switched the signs and hopped into his mech, flying off to his castle. A few minutes later, Wario and his gang showed up, noticing the two signs and trails.

"The one on the left says "To Weegee's Castle" and the one on the right says "To the Internet"," Lucario said.

"No dip, Sherlock!" Waluigi replied.

"Yeah, we're all out of dip," Mr. Game and Watch said as he shook an empty cup.

"Pretty sure he wasn't referring to that type of dip," Duck Hunt Dog commented.

"Something's tells me that this a trap," Wario said. "I say we go on the "Internet Path"."

"You're just trying hard to look smart," Lucario responded.

"Whatever. You can come crawling back to us once you find out you were wrong," Wario taunted as he and Waluigi moved onto the right path. Lucario, Game and Watch, and Duck Hunt Dog went down the left path. A few seconds later, the trio came running back, heading towards the other path.

"AAAAAHHHHH, RULE THIRTY FOUR!" Lucario screamed.

"AAAAAHHHHH, SONIC ORIGINAL CHARACTERS!" Game and Watch shouted.

"AAAAAHHHHH, I LIKE SCREAMING!" Duck Hunt Dog yelled.

**XxXx**

Weegee was now in front of a large mountain, next to path that lead to his castle. Using a paintbrush, he painted a tunnel on the rock face, as well as a sign saying "Shortcut to Weegee's Castle!" He then hid behind some nearby bushes.

"Hey guys, a shortcut!" Wario shouted as he came into view.

"Gee, how convenient," Lucario commented. The group of five walked to the painting and somehow managed to walk through it.

"Wait, what?!" Weegee said as he pulled out from the bushes. "How did they manage to walk through?!" The Luigi doppleganger then tried to run through the rock face, but slammed right into it. "Well, that Looney Toons trick totally frigging backfired."

**XxXx**

"Weegee's Castle, dead ahead!" Waluigi shouted, pointing to the giant, spooky castle.

"He wasn't kidding when he said his castle was stereotypical," Duck Hunt Dog commented.

"Just try not to fall into the lava," Mr. Game and Watch warned. "Or else you will die."

"This is no time for CD-I references!" Lucario responded.

"But that's what all true warriors strive for," Wario said.

**XxXx**

"Welcome back, your Majesty!" one of Weegee's guards said as the Luigi impostor approached the dungeon. "Here to check on the prisoners?"

"Yes," the evil being said as the doors opened. The two made their way to the cells, stopping in front of the one with the other five Smashers inside.

"You owe me a huge plate of spaghetti, you dictator!" Wii Fit Trainer shouted.

"Shut up, girly, I owe you nothing!" Weegee taunted. "Now, how to torture you fools... I know! Miss exercise will be my "love buddy", I'll eat Yoshi, I'll slowly and painfully murder Snake, I'll put the female Marth in a fan fic where she farts a lot, and... I'll just get rid of Falco, cause he's too stupid."

"Why thank you!" Falco thanked.

"Those other dunces will be here any minute now," Weegee muttered. "I must prepare for the battle!"

**XxXx**

"Man, this place is huge!" Wario shouted as the group made it into the dark, evil, and very stereotypical castle.

"And empty," Duck Hunt Dog added. "No guards whatsoever? Even Falco doesn't seem that dumb."

"Hey, look!" Wario shouted. "A button!"

"It says "Do not press this button unless there are intruders. Knowing the Wario Bros., they'll press this regardless". Let's press it!" Waluigi shouted.

"No, don't!" Lucario yelled as Waluigi pressed it. Guards rushed in seconds later, surrounding the five Smashers. "Now look what you've done!"

"Don't worry, I have a plan!" Wario replied as he ate a ton of garlic.

"That plan being?!" Duck Hunt asked.

"This!" Wario said as he released a massive fart. The guards choked on the horrid stench, while Wario, Waluigi, Lucario, Game and Watch, and Duck Hunt Dog escaped the smell, with the latter three holding their noses. A few minutes later, the group found themselves inside a 2-Dimensional part of the castle, with a massive gap right in front of them.

"The heck is going on?" Mr. Game and Watch asked.

"Maybe this castle was designed to be like a Mario game?" Lucario suggested.

"Look up there!" Waluigi yelled. On the ceiling was an icon for each character, as well as a "X3" next to them.

"So, how do we get across the gap?" Wario asked.

"Like so!" Waluigi answered as he began running on the gap, as if he was on air.

"Why did that work, exactly?" Lucario asked in awe.

"Beats me," the purple pest responded as Wario ran over the gap. "This is a video game, nothing makes sense."

**XxXx**

"I'm innocent, I tell ya!" a purple robot stuck in a damp cell shouted. "I was just tripping down the stairs! I didn't mean to assault that kid!"

"Geez, will that guy shut up?!" Yoshi asked, waking up from a nap.

"Probably not soon," Lucina said.

"Don't worry," Snake said as he was carving a key out of soap. "Within an hour, I will have us all free."

"Or maybe Wario will save us," Yoshi replied as Wario ripped the bars apart.

"Hey, where's Lucario?" Wii Fit Trainer asked as she walked out through the bars.

"I think he fell down a pit or something," Wario muttered. "He should be fine, he had a few extra lives."

**XxXx**

"Oof!" Lucario grunted as he smashed into the bottom of a dark pit (and no, not that kind of Dark Pit). "I always wondered what was at the bottom of these pits," he said as he got up. "Didn't exactly expect that it would just be plain darkness though."

"Oh, but there's much more!" a voice replied as a set of lights turned on. The light revealed the place to be an exact copy of Green Hill Zone. Lucario looked for the source of the voice, quickly finding a huge group of characters similar to Sonic and his friends to his left.

"Please no, not Sonic Original Characters again!" the Aura Pokémon shouted as the group introduced themselves.

"I'm Dylan the Hedgehog!"

"Hi, I'm Sonia the Hedgehog!"

"Name's Tailz the Fox!"

"Psssh... nothing personnel... kid."

"I'm Pin Gus the Cat!"

"The name's Nipples the Echidna!"

"I am Boo the Bee!"

"I need to get out of here!" Lucario shouted as he ran from the Original Characters. They soon gave chase a few seconds later.

**XxXx**

"But we can worry about him later," Wario continued. "Right now, we gotta deal with Weegee."

"Whatever you say..." Yoshi muttered as everyone but Falco left the cell.

"You coming, bird brain?" Snake asked as he noticed the bird had a phone up to his head.

"Once I'm done with this call," Falco answered. The soldier walked away before the space bird continued his conversation. "So, that first shipment of bread will be there by Friday?"

"Of course," the person on the other line said. "Just make sure you keep your end of the bargain."

"I will. Thanks again..." Falco said.

"... Are you ever going to end your sentence?" the person asked.

"I will, I just need to pause dramatically first," the bird responded before staying in complete silence for about half a minute. "JK, I was already finished, I just wanted to mess with you."

"Well, that's thirty seconds of calling seconds I'll never get back," the person said as he hung up.

**XxXx**

Weegee was sitting on his throne, watching WAA-conda on his laptop.

"Wow, this is actually funny," Weegee commented. "This is ten out of ten quality shit." Just then, a stiff looking Mario clone rushed in.

"Weegee, the dunces have freed some of the prisoners!" the clone reported.

"I thought I told you to triple the guard, Malleo!" Weegee roared. "What exactly were you doing within the last hour?!"

"Uhhhhh... certainly not having a make out session with Peesch," Malleo lied.

"Just go get my battle mecha ready, or else I'll force you to play Sonic 06 again!" Weegee ordered.

"Oh fuck, not that game again!" Malleo shouted as ran out of the room.

"He's as much of a boob as the Wario Bros. sometimes," the Luigi doppelganger muttered as Malleo left the room.

**XxXx**

"Now, according to the map, the throne room should be up this curvy hallway that looks like a butt crack," Wario said.

"That's not a map," Lucina commented. "That's Waluigi's drawing of Olimar's butt with a coffee stain on it."

"No wonder that thing smelled like coffee, ink, and gas," Wario muttered as he handed Waluigi the paper.

"You sniffed that thing?" Snake asked.

"Says the guy who sniffed Peach's panties last night," Waluigi argued.

"That's different!" the soldier replied.

"Yeah, in a more pervered way," Wario added.

"I hope Snake brought a Burn Heal, cause he needs it," Mr. Game and Watch taunted.

"Oh, hey!" Malleo greeted as he approached the Smashers. "You're those guys who Weegee wants to destroy, right?"

"Yeah, why are you asking?" Wario questioned.

"Well, can you guys go sit on that bench and wait over there for a few minutes?" Malleo begged. "Weegee wants me to go get his battle mecha, or else he'll force me to play Sonic 06!"

"What's so bad about playing a video game?" Snake said.

"Have you even heard of Sonic 06?" Waluigi inquired. "Playing that game is complete torture! Absolute, pure, torture! This guy certainly doesn't deserve such punishment!"

"Fine, we'll wait for five minutes," Snake muttered as the group sat down, with elevator music playing.

"Great! I'll be back in a few!" the stiff Mario impersonator said as he walked away. After two minutes, Duck Hunt Dog heard something from beneath the floor.

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU STUPID SONIC OCS!"

"Hey, did you guys hear that?!" the dog asked with worry.

"Nah, you're just hearing things," Wario replied.

**XxXx**

"I brought it, Weegee!" Malleo greeted as he walked into the room in a giant mecha.

"Good, now you won't have to suffer that punishment," the Luigi clone muttered as Malleo kept out of the machine.

"Hey, do any of you guys know-" Wario asked before getting interrupted by Malleo.

"I told you guys I would go and get you once I was done! What are you doing here?"

"I really have to use the bathroom," Lucina said as she tried to hold it.

"Here, I'll take you there!" Malleo said as he and the princess walked out of the room.

"All righty then," Weegee, now in his mecha, muttered. "Well "Wario Boobs", are you ready to die?!"

"Wario has boobs?" Falco questioned.

"Falco, shut up!" Wario ordered. Waluigi then hatched a plan.

"Hey Weegee, how about you tell us about what you've done since we last met you!"

"Oh sure!" The evil clone replied. "Well, after you beat me, I landed on this island..."

"Wario, pull out the Dinner Blaster while he's distracted," the purple idiot whispered.

"Good idea!" Wario replied as he did so, while Waluigi pulled out Dark Pit's staff.

"I thought you gave that back to that edgy angel," Yoshi whispered. "What exactly did you give him?"

"Well, you see..." Waluigi started.

**XxXx**

"Good bye, Samus Aran!" Dark Pit shouted as he pointed his "staff" at the bounty hunter. He tried firing it a few times, but no avail.

"What's wrong with that thing?" Samus asked.

"Wait... this is Cucoo meat painted like my real staff!" Dark Pit said as he wiped off some paint. A huge group of Cucoos then flew down from the night sky of the Wily Castle stage. "Oh fuck."

**XxXx**

"... And yeah, Dark Pit will kill me for that."

"OK, can you just execute your plan now?" Snake impatiently asked. "We don't have all the damn day to do this, you know."

"OK, OK!" Waluigi muttered as he charged the staff, while Wario charged up the Dinner Blaster.

"... And then I was all "No way!", and then she was like "Yes way!", and then I was like..." Weegee ranted as his mecha was destroyed by the power of the two weapons. The Luigi clone was sent flying into the back wall.

"Epic win!" Falco cheered.

"Jackasses!" Weegee cursed. "You cheated! Not to mention I said no weapons on this trip!"

"Weegee please!" Wario argued. "Just because we're the good guys doesn't mean we have to play by the rules! We're not stereotypes like you are!"

"Touché," Weegee admitted. "Well, I guess this is the part where I pass out in defeat."

"We saved the day once again!" Yoshi cheered.

"Now we just need to find Lucario and Lucina!" Duck Hunt Dog added. Lucario then broke through the ceiling, landing back first on the floor.

"What happened to you?!" Yoshi questioned.

"There's no time!" Lucario replied as he got up. "We gotta run from some Sonic OCs!"

"Not again!" Duck Hunt shouted as the group ran out of the room and down the halls. They eventually found Lucina and grabbed her. Within five minutes, the group managed to flee the castle and get on their boat home.

"Phew, we made it!" Yoshi said. "I don't know how we managed, but we did!"

"I guess you could say we "stepped it up"!" Wario joked.

"Or maybe they were "too slow"!" Waluigi added.

"We got away "Super Falco style"!" Falco chuckled.

"Great. Now I have to deal with Sonic quotes," Lucario muttered. "As if my day wasn't bad enough."

"Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like we're being watched?" Lucina asked.

"Nah, I mean, who would be watching us?" Wario asked.

**XxXx**

Beneath the flooring of the boat, a creature looked through a hole in the wood. He merely laughed and said one sentence:

"Psssh... nothing personnel... kid."


	4. Ep 4: Gmod Mayhem

**Episode 4: Gmod Mayhem**

"Everybody's ready!" Waluigi said as Wario turned on his new laptop.

"Great!" Wario replied. He waited a few seconds for his laptop to load, while pulling out a microphone and headphones.

**XxXx**

"Welcome to Gmod, guys!" Yoshi said as he, Falco, Crazy Hand, Toad, and Snake found the Wario Bros. next to a large building.

"Wow, this city makes Ridley look like an ant!" Waluigi said as the two idiots looked around the town, noticing the large buildings and paved streets.

"Uhhh, I wouldn't say that," Yoshi commented.

"Why not?" Wario asked.

"Because Ridley is right behind you," Toad replied. The Wario Bros. noticed the large, purple dragon behind them.

"I guess this is the part where we run in terror, right?" Wario muttered.

"No, this is the part where you sneak into the girl's bathroom," Snake sarcastically said.

"That's not our style," Waluigi replied.

"Can we just start running now?" Wario brought up.

"Oh sure, just let me stretch my legs," his best friend responded.

"There's no time!" Wario roared as he shot a portal from his potal gun, absorbing his friend.

"Ahhh! Butt cramp!" Waluigi shouted as he was sucked in.

"This is a video game, you can't get butt cramps!" the yellow pest said as he leaped into the portal. As soon as they were gone, Yoshi began to snicker.

"What's so funny?" Crazy Hand asked. "Were you thinking of YouTube Poop?"

"Let me guess, that Ridley is a ragdoll," Snake muttered.

"Yeah, and to think those morons fell for it!" Yoshi laughed. "Speaking of morons, where did Falco go?"

"Merry Christmas, everybody!" Falco shouted from the rooftop of a nearby building. "Bread for all the good boys and girls!" He then fired loaves of bread from a rocket launcher, straight for the four remaining heroes, killing them upon contact.

**XxXx**

"Where are we?" Wario asked his partner in stupidity. The portal took the duo to a large room with two doors.

"I had a dream once," Waluigi started. "We were in a room just like this one, but there was also a giant, angry peanut in here too. We ran away from it, until we managed to get away from it.

"And how did we do that?"

"Simple!" Waluigi answered. "We just walked out that door behind us." The dumb duo quickly rushed to the door, stopping right in front of it.

"Are you sure nothing weird will happen?" Wario questioned.

"Come on, what's the weirdest that could happen?" the purple idiot replied as he grabbed the nob. He quickly opened it, allowing the two morons to go through. As soon as they came in, they realized that they had entered a bathroom, and were greeted by the screaming of a certain squid.

"WHAAAH! YAAAAHHH! YAAAHHH! YAAAHHH! YAAAHHH YAAHHH! YAAHHH!" the squid screamed before he began to grow tired and began to pant.

"Looks like we dropped by Squid's house," Waluigi muttered.

"I told you something weird would happen!" Wario shouted as the two left the room.

"Boy, I'm sure glad that's over," the squid said as he sank into his bubble bath. Just then, a certain purple robot crashed through the wall across from the cartoon squid, causing him to scream again.

"I was just tripping down the stairs!" the robot shouted as the squid screamed.

**XxXx**

"There you are!" Falco said as the Wario Bros. found the rest of the group. "Where were you?"

"In a situation that even I found overlly questionable," Wario replied.

"Well, at least you're OK!" Crazy Hand said.

"That reminds me, does anyone else wonder how Crazy's playermodel works?" Waluigi asked.

"I also have hands on my screen, even though I don't have hands," Crazy said before the group fell into silence for a few moments. "I don't understand life anymore!" The giant hand then flung his body around the street, eventually hitting Snake. The soldier was killed from the impact.

"Run!" Toad shouted as the remaining heroes ran from the panicking hand, who gave chase. The hand eventually killed Yoshi as well. The four living heroes found a temporary shelter behind a small wall, as the large hand zipped by them.

"That was too close!" Falco said.

"I have to feel sorry for Snake and Yoshi though," Toad stated.

"Forget about them, they'll respawn eventually!" Wario argued. "We still have to survive!"

"Does anyone have a plan to stop Crazy?" Waluigi inquired.

"I suggest we build a portal trap, which will keep Crazy flying through different portals until he calms down," Toad said. "However, we need someone to distract that idiot while the rest of us build said trap. And since I'm the one who came up with the plan, it ain't gonna be me!"

"Not it!" Wario shouted.

"Not it!" Waluigi repeated. The three then stared at Falco for a few seconds before he spoke up.

"Bread?"

**XxXx**

"God damn hand!" Weegee shouted as ran from the panicking hand. "Can't you see I'm plotting my second revenge scheme here?!" Crazy managed to corner the Luigi clone and was ready to fling himself into the evil meme, until the two heard a voice.

"Come get some!" Falco shouted. Crazy took his attention off of the stiff meme and onto the space pilot. Once the two idiots left, Weegee sighed in relief.

"Glad that shit is over," Weegee cursed. He was about to leave when a bathtub fell on him, killing the poor soul.

"Didn't mean to assault you!" the purple robot said as the squid continued to scream.

**XxXx**

"This looks like a good spot," Toad commented as pulled out his portal gun.

"How did you guys manage to get on my server?!" Lucario asked as he approached the three.

"Your server?!" Waluigi shouted.

"Not now guys!" Toad ordered. "We need to set up our trap!"

"What would you need a trap for?" Lucario inquired.

"Crazy is on a panic rampage," Wario answered. "We need him to cool his jets, before he kills all of us!"

"This is just a video game," the Aura Pokémon argued. "If we die, we'll just respawn."

"Quit with your logic and just help us out!" Waluigi commanded.

"Remind me again why I bother with you two?" Lucario said as he stared blankly at the purple pest.

**XxXx**

Falco was driving a golf cart, still stay away from Crazy Hand. He made a sharp turn, taking him down a street cluttered with buildings.

"Toasters, peanuts, Fairly Odd Parents, Adam Sandler, Shining Finger, fakers, bikes, Ash X Misty, Ike Climbers, donuts, Starpiplup, Malleo, bombs, tentacles, hen, Typhlosion!" Crazy shouted.

"Calm down Crazy!" Falco begged. "It's me, Falco!"

"You're a LIBURL!" Crazy shouted. "If you are not Christen, then you must die!"

"I didn't know you were so religious!" Falco argued.

"I didn't either," Duck Hunt Dog, who somehow got in the golf cart, said.

"How did you get in here?!" Falco asked.

"Beats me," the dog replied as he took his eyes to the road ahead. "Back on topic, what's a Liburl, exactly?"

"I don't know, I just know that Falco is one!" Crazy shouted. "I also don't know what a Christen is either."

"I'm not a Liburl, Crazy!" Falco replied. "And why do I feel like you're referencing something everyone hates?"

"Look out!" Duck Hunt shouted. However, Falco didn't listen and ran over the newly respawned Snake.

"Ha!" Yoshi laughed as he made his way into the street. "Poor Snake!" Suddenly, Falco drove back and ran over Yoshi as well, before he continued to distract the insane hand.

**XxXx**

"It's finished!" Toad cheered. "Now all we need is for Falco to bring Crazy here!"

"Wait, you let Falco do the bait work?" Lucario questioned. "Do you realize how much trouble he is very likely causing?"

"Come on, it's just one little idiot!" Toad argued. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"Look at that!" Wario said as he pointed to the sky. "Lots of smoke to the north!"

"On second thought..." the mushroom servant muttered.

**XxXx**

Most of the northern half of the digital city was set ablaze. Explosives constantly fell from the sky, but Falco, Duck Hunt Dog, and Crazy Hand were still alive, managing to steer clear of the danger that now lurked the town.

"Potatoes, snails, Waluigi time, Vile, cookies, snow, eyelashes, such stunning features, Pit, Hades, Pit, Hades, Pit, Hades!" Crazy spazzed.

"Where exactly is this trap anyways?!" Duck Hunt Dog asked.

"I don't know, they never told me!" Falco responded.

"Gee, that's great to know!" the dog said as the cart dodged a bomb.

"Hey guys, what's happening?" Sonic greeted as he pulled up to the golf cart in his racecar.

"Oh, nothing much," Falco answered. "Just driving around, talking, and getting chased by Crazy. No big deal."

"Doesn't sound like a "no big deal", now does it?" Elec Man replied as he pulled up on his motorcycle.

"Well, we just need to find Wario and the gang!" the space pilot said. "They have a trap set up!"

"Look out, Snake's in the road again!" Duck Hunt shouted.

"I hate reoccurring gags," Snake muttered before Falco ran him over.

"Wow, twice in one day," Yoshi muttered from the rooftops. "Today just isn't Snake day. At least I haven't gotten run over again." The green dino then took a few steps forward, before he got hit by a flying plane.

**XxXx**

"Guys!" Waluigi shouted as Falco' group came into view. "It's Falco, and he's brought some friends too!"

"Get ready!" Lucario ordered.

"There's the trap!" Falco cheered as they got closer.

"Jump, now!" Toad commanded. The four heroes leaped to the side, opening up the trap. Duck Hunt jumped out of the cart, while Elec Man and Sonic steered to the side. Falco drove right into the trap, with Crazy Hand following.

"I'm gonna be sick from this!" Falco cried as he was flung through a portal.

"Well, looks like we're in the clear!" Wario cheered.

"Not quite!" Elec Man shouted as he pointed to four missiles hurdling for them.

"Good glory, run for it!" Toad shouted as he jumped into Sonic's racecar. Lucario leaped onto Elec Man's motorcycle, while the Wario Bros. and Duck Hunt Dog entered a nearby van. The three vehicles drove away, with three of the missiles giving chase. The fourth one crashed right into Falco and Crazy.

**XxXx**

"How in the heck did we get on the top of this building?" Wario wondered.

"Forget about that, just keep driving!" Duck Hunt replied.

"And look out for that bathtub with wheels!" Waluigi shouted.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" the purple robot screamed as drove the "Tub Mobile". The squid continued his screaming.

"Hah, no problem!" Wario shouted as he swerved past the tub. "See?"

"Yes, we're alive!" the robot cheered as he continued his drive. After a few seconds, the tub stopped moving, and the squid stopped screaming. "Huh? Oh, we just drove over the edge, no big deal... Wait." The squid then continued his screaming as the tub fell downwards.

**XxXx**

"Wow, this place is a fucking wreck!" Weegee said as he took in his surroundings. "Whoever did this must be a evil mastermind! Or at least someone with good tastes. This truly is the face of destruction! This probably required hundreds of miss-"

"Shut up, Mr. Stereotype!" a mysterious voice ordered as a cane yanked the Luigi clone away.

"Hey, I wasn't done with my rant yet!" Weegee shouted as Lucario and Elec Man drove through the street.

"Weegee?" Lucario wondered out loud. "Is there only one big server or something for Gmod?"

"Our world is filled with many confusing questions," Elec Man responded as he took a sharp turn. "Just don't ask them, and you'll be OK."

"I might have to agree with you on that one," the Aura Pokémon replied.

**XxXx**

"So, how exactly did Falco cause this mess?" Waluigi asked the dog in the back seat.

"In a way too complicated for you two to understand," Duck Hunt Dog answered.

"Are you questioning our intelligence?!" Wario roared.

"You can just keep our eyes on the road!" the dog barked. "Make sure we don't drive into the sea or something!" The dog then got an idea. "That's it!"

"What's it?" Waluigi inquired. "It's Waluigi time?"

"No!" Duck Hunt Dog said. "He drive this thing into the ocean, where the missile will follow!" DHD, Lucario, and Toad said at the same time.

"Sounds stupid," Wario muttered.

"And you two can think of a better plan?!" Duck Hunt Dog argued. Wario and Waluigi thought for a bit, coming up with them picking their noses.

"Probably, but I guess we could go with your plan," Waluigi muttered as the three took a sharp turn to the east. "Next stop, the sea!"

**XxXx**

"Where are they?!" Yoshi wondered. He and Snake were in a monster truck, looking for the others. They had a hard time avoiding the continuous explosions, but managed to survive.

"I wish I knew... wait, is that Weegee... running away from a tub with wheels, being driven by a purple robot and some familiar looking squid?" Snake said as he noticed the three figures on the left side of the street.

"Have you been drinking again, Snake?" Yoshi asked.

"N-no! Of course not!" Snake lied.

"OK, then you should notice the giant ramp ahead of us!" the dino shouted, pointing to the very obvious and large ramp ahead.

"All I see is a huge group of sexy ladies!" the soldier answered. "Let's run into them!"

"Yeah, totally not drinking," Yoshi muttered as Snake stepped on the brakes. Snake drove over the ramp, causing the truck to fly. It eventually landed in a jackpot machine, causing it to activate. It landed on three heads of Sonic, granting the two over 9000 rings. The truck began to free fall again, eventually landing on the plane that had killed Yoshi before. After a few seconds, it slipped off and fell into an elevator. It took the truck down a few hundred feet, and it began to fall again. It soon landed on a flying carpet, which took it through a girl's clothing store. The truck exited through the back door, wearing purple panties and bra. The carpet ripped, causing the truck to continue it's fall. It soon fell into a tattoo parlor, crashing out a few moments later with a tattoo with the words "I Love Chi-Chi" on the hood.

**XxXx**

"Charmander used Water Gun!" a user donning an orange Yoshi playermodel said as he blew bubbles. He noticed a large shadow above him and decided to look up. Unfortunately, he could not avoid getting crushed by the truck.

"How did we survive that, exactly?" Yoshi wondered.

"Beats me, but I see a very sexy lady up ahead!" Snake said as he ran ahead.

"I feel like we crushed someone important," Yoshi thought as he took his focus on the soldier. "Stop it Snake, that's some guy who likes everybody!" The green dino chased after the drunk Snake, leaving the truck behind. A few minutes later, an oversized Luigi showed up.

"I thought WildCat was supposed to meet me here," the large Luigi said. Just then, the real Luigi showed up.

"F-f-faker!" Luigi shouted.

"Wrong!" Weegee said as he leaped down from above. "You're both my fakes!"

"I sure have lotsa fakers!" CD-I Luigi said as he showed up.

"Fakers everywhere!" Paper Luigi said.

"Am I really that popular to have fakers?" 8-Bit Luigi said.

"You're all Mama Luigi's fakers!" DiC Luigi said.

"This is going to take a while, won't it?" Luigi asked.

"Knowing my damn life, yes," Weegee cursed.

**XxXx**

"The sea is dead ahead!" Elec Man shouted.

"Speed it up, that missile is about to hit us!" Lucario yelled.

"Hey guys, we have a plan on how to get rid of these missiles!" Toad shouted as Sonic pulled up beside the motorcycle.

"We do too!" Lucario replied. "What's your plan?"

"We plan on driving our vehicle into the water!" Sonic answered.

"Really? That was our plan too!" Elec Man said.

"Speaking of which, we need to bail!" Toad said as he and the blue hedgehog jumped out of their racecar, while Lucario and Elec Man escaped from their motorcycle. The vehicles landed right in the water and took the missiles with them.

"Now all we need to do is find Wario!" Elec Man said.

"Knowing him, he could be anywhere in this town!" Sonic replied.

**XxXx**

"If I'm correct, the closest edge to the sea is right ahead!" Duck Hunt Dog said as he was observing a map.

"Wario, look out!" Waluigi warned his yellow clad companion. "Stoplight dead ahead!" Wario stepped on the brakes, allowing six Goombas, four Shy Guys, seven Pikmin, Knuckles the Echidna, and the Tub Mobile across the intersection. As soon as they passed, Wario drove through. Just a second later, the missile stopped as well, letting Malleo, ten Machops, eight Tacs, and the Sonic OCs across, before continuing its path.

"Guys, look!" Waluigi said as the ramp from before came into view. "We're heading for that ramp!"

"Who just leaves a ramp like that on the edge of a cliff?" Duck Hunt wondered.

"We have no choice!" Wario yelled. "We need to use that ramp! We'll bail on the count of three!"

"What?! No!" Duck Hunt Dog protested.

"One..." Wario started, ignoring the dog. "Two... Three, NOW!" The trio leaped out of the van, letting it go over the ramp. The missile hit it in mid flight, resulting in a mini fireworks show.

"Oooh... pretty!" Falco said in awe as he and the rest of the gang walked to the trio.

"Well, all's awkward that ends awkward," Lucario muttered.

"Either way, I've had enough Gmod for one day," Yoshi said.

"Me too, let's leave," Elec Man replied.

**XxXx**

"I was just tripping down the stairs!" the robot argued.

"Please, quit milking that joke," Weegee replied. "The humor is gone."

"Look out for that airplane!" the robot shouted as he pointed behind the Luigi clone.

"Please, I'm not stupid enough for that crap," Weegee said as the robot ran away. However, the airplane indeed was heading straight for Weegee, and crashed into him, resulting in a massive explosion. Once the dust settled, the words "The End" were carved into the street, next to Weegee's body.


	5. Ep 5: The Giant Breadstalk

**Chapter 5: The Giant Breadstalk**

"Gather around kiddies!" Wario cheered as he, Waluigi, Falco, and Tingle rushed into the Smash Library. "We have a story for you!"

"WARIO, PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN," R.O.B. said in his robotic voice from behind the checkout desk. "THIS IS A LIBRARY, YOU KNOW."

"Can it, pipsqueak!" Waluigi replied as he smacked the robot with his tennis racket. "No one cares!"

"Oh boy, a story!" Pichu said as she, Popo, Lucas, and Toon Link gathered towards the group of idiots. "Please tell it!"

"Alright, just sit down!" Tingle ordered. They four young Smashers sat down, while Falco gave Wario a book.

"Here's the title, kids!" Wario said as he showed them the book cover.

"The Giant Breadstalk?" Toon Link read out loud.

"That book is terrible!" Crazy Hand shouted as he floated to the group. "It has words in it!"

"All books have words, Crazy," Lucas replied.

"Quiet down so I can start!" Wario commanded. "Once upon a time..."

**XxXx**

A Falco look-a-like, wearing a green, old fashion shirt and pants, was walking through a small village with his cow Maybelle, when a mysterious voice spoke up.

"... There was a young bird man by the name of Falco Jack."

"YAAHHH! Who are you and how do you know my name?!" Falco asked in panic.

"He was going to sell his cow for gold," the voice continued.

"Run everyone, the sky is talking!" Falco panicked. "The sky is talking!"

"Oh great," a nearby Goomba muttered. "First a hand who says the sky is falling, now a bird who claims the sky is talking."

"What next?" a Shy Guy standing next to him questioned. "The sky having a baby?" Just then, a giant anchor crushed the house behind the two.

"My house!" a nearby Motobug screamed as he rushed to the remains.

"The sky is talking, head for the bunkers!" Falco continued to warn the villagers. He kept on running until he ran into a Warp Pipe. A Piranha Plant popped out of it.

"Hi Falco!" the red plant greeted.

"Hi Steve!" the bird replied before he continued his panicking. He kept running down a trail for a few moments, until he knocked down a look-a-like of Dark Pit.

"He eventually found a strange and very edgy salesman," the mystery voice said.

"What's the big idea, you damn idiot?!" the angel cursed as he got up.

"I'm sorry sir, I was just warning everyone about the talking sky!" Falco apologized.

"Whatever, stupid bird," Dark Pit replied. "Say, nice cow you got there!"

"Oh, this gal?" Falco commented. "Her name is Maybelle!"

"Willing to trade that fat ass?" the dark angel suggested.

"For gold?" Falco said.

"Screw gold, I have something better!" the salesman responded as he pulled out the most beautiful thing the bird had ever seen.

"Br-br-bread," Falco stuttered in awe as his eyes twinkled. "I'll take it!"

"The salesman made an offer of bread for the cow, and Falco gladly accepted," the odd voice said as the two traded their belongings.

"Thanks, edgy businessman!" Falco joyfully thanked as he ran back home.

"Heh, stupid ass idiot," the Dark Pit laughed. "I got a cow for just a loaf of bread! Now I, Dark Edgious Pit, shall bring some extra food for my family back in my zombie-infested world!" Dark "Edgy" Pit then took his new cow down the trail.

**XxXx**

"I'm home!" Falco yelled as he enter his home. "And I sold the cow!"

"How much gold did you get?" A Lucario look-a-like asked.

"When he got home, he told his uncle Lucario Jack, who is the Squidward of this story, about the trip," the mystery voice said.

"Why must everybody insist on calling me a "Squidward"?" the Aura Pokémon questioned. "And who is saying that anyway?"

"It's the sky talking," Falco answered.

"You seriously expect me to believe that the sky is talking?" Lucario asked. He shook his head, realizing that he was off topic. "Back on topic, how much gold did you get?"

"I got something better than gold!" Falco said as he pulled out the loaf of bread. "This beautiful loaf!"

"YOU MEAN YOU SOLD MAYBELLE, OUR VERY LAST COW, FOR A HUNK OF BREAD, WHEN WE CAN GET SOME FOR 2.99 AT WAL-MART?!" Lucario screamed as his head grew rather large.

"Gulp... giant anime head..." the bird muttered.

"Go back to town and sell that pathetic loaf!" Lucario ordered.

"His uncle was not pleased, so he forced Falco to sell the loaf," the voice said.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to Oran Fest with our giant 1-Up Mushroom for their "Biggest Veggie Contest"." Lucario swung open the door, letting "Wario Jack", "Waluigi Jack", and "Toad Hansel" in before he left.

"Just then, Falco's brothers and friend entered the house," the voice continued.

"Hey Falco!" Waluigi said.

"Hey guys..." Falco sadly responded.

"What's the long face for?" Wario asked, noticing Falco's sadness. "Did you break your 3DS playing Smash? Or is it that time of the month?"

"Uncle Lucario wants me to sell this loaf of bread I got!" the bird said.

"We need to figure out a plan on how to keep that thing!" Wario said.

"Falco told them about his problem, so they decided to bury the loaf in the backyard, so Uncle Lucario wouldn't notice," the voice said.

"The sky is right you guys, we should bury it!" Falco happily said, pointing to the sky.

"Good idea! I'll go get a shovel!" Waluigi volunteered before he ran out the front door.

"Is it just me, or does that voice sound a lot like Wario's?" Toad inquired.

"What are you talking about, that voice clearly sounds like Peter Griffin!" Wario argued. "Now come on, we need to head outside!" The trio walked towards the back door, ready to bury the loaf.

"Is Wario seriously stupid enough to not recognize his own voice?" Toad thought to himself as he stepped outside.

**XxXx**

"So, where in the world are we gonna bury this thing?" Waluigi asked as he took a look around.

"By that old tree stump Waluigi peed on when he was four?" Wario suggested.

"How about that open plain were the cows used to graze?" Toad added.

"Maybe by that brick house that stupid "Big Bad Wolf O' Donnel" keeps trying to blow down?" Waluigi brought up.

"All of those are too obvious!" Falco replied. "We need a spot that our grouchy Lucario would never guess... like in the middle of the Veggie Garden!"

"He's obviously going to find it during harvest," Toad remarked.

"What would you know, you're not the main protagonist!" Falco argued.

"Sure is a nice way to treat a friend, Falco," the mushroom servant muttered as Wario quickly began to dig a hole. Once he was finished, Falco placed the bread inside, and Wario covered up the hole.

"You know, these things always creep me out with their faces," Waluigi said as he bent down to pluck one. Once he pulled it out, he noticed that the face looked just like that of a certain Luigi clone. The purple pest screamed in terror as he threw it towards the forest.

"Looks like the sun's setting," Toad stated. "We might as well get some shut eye."

"After the four heroes buried the loaf, they decided to get some sleep, so they went back into the house," the voice stated.

"Now that I think about it, that voice sounds a lot like Carlos Santana," Waluigi said as he walked back to the house.

"The singer?" Wario jokingly asked.

"Wow, that was a terrible reference," the mushroom boy muttered as the four made their way back to the house.

**XxXx**

"Later that night, some strange and wonderful magic was taking place in the garden, causing the ground to shake," the voice said as the ground began to move violently.

"GWAHHH! Risen riding wolves!" Waluigi shouted as he woke up from his sleep. He took a quick look around his room, panting heavily. "Oh, it was just a dream... wait, why is the ground shaking?!"

"Wario!" Toad's voice echoed across the hall. "Are you having a massive fart in your sleep again?!"

"No, or else this whole house would smell like beans and death!" Wario yelled. The quakes slowly began to settle as Waluigi wandered into the hall.

"Must have just some random earthquake," the purple pest muttered as he went back into his room. The house was quiet for a few moments, before a large fart was heard, causing a minor quake.

"Aww, come on Wario!" Toad yelled.

"Man, that stinks!" Falco said before he began to cough.

"Looks like we'll all need to take showers," Waluigi muttered as walked out of his room and down the stairs.

**XxXx**

"Hurry up, Toad!" Wario roared as he banged his fists on the bathroom door.

"Can you please shut up? I'm trying to draw a masterpiece over here!" Falco shouted from the kitchen table.

"Well, I'm going to head outside to do something insanely stupid," Waluigi said as he put his bowl onto the counter.

"Good luck with that!" Wario replied as his twin brother walked by. The purple pest swung the door opened and noticed a giant shadow on the ground. He looked up to see the strangest thing he ever saw.

"Falco, Wario, Toad, come out here!" Waluigi commanded. A few seconds later, Toad rushed out with a towel covering his "lower region", with Falco and Wario right behind him.

"What's so important?" Toad asked before he looked up to the sky. "Oh. My. Spaghetti."

" Is that a... giant breadstalk?!" Falco questioned as he stood in awe.

"Once the four heroes went outside the next morning, they found a giant breadstalk in the back yard," the voice said.

"Leave it to the sky to answered all our questions!" Wario cheered. "Let's climb it!"

"You three can go right ahead, but I'm going to stay down here and get some clothes on," Toad said as he walked inside the house.

"Now, while we climb up this thing, you kids can watch this commercial!" Waluigi said.

**XxXx**

Ness, Zelda, and Mewtwo were sitting on a bench in the middle of a park, all with sad looks on their faces.

"Man, I am so bored!" Ness muttered.

"We could go climb Mt. Silver, but we need more energy to do that!" Zelda replied.

"Don't worry, Captain Falcon can help you!" the F-Zero racer said as he walked up to the three. "If you need more energy, just take a sip of the greatest drink ever!"

"And that would be...?" Mewtwo asked.

"None other than Falcon Punch!" Falcon responded as he whipped out a soda can. Ness took the can and took a sip. His head caught on fire, but he seemed to ignored the pain.

"Wow! Despite the fact that I'm likely going to get third degree burns, I have way more energy!" the young boy said before he began to run around the park, catching all the trees on fire.

"You'd have to be a moron to drink that stuff," Mewtwo muttered.

"I'll have a sip!" Zelda said as she grabbed the can from Ness.

"Come on Zelda, you too?!" the Psychic type Pokémon said as the princess' head caught on fire.

"Kids, there's nothing cooler than drinking something you like, but if it's not Falcon Punch, that's no good! So go get some from your local Wal-Mart!" Captain Falcon said.

"Warning: Side effects include: third degree burns, lung cancer, extreme farting, tripping down the stairs, Hotel Mario, and a bunch of other bull crap. But who cares, it's Falcon Punch, bitches!" Some random voice shouted.

"Now fully approved by the Hot Topic Krew!" Falcon added.

**XxXx**

"Hey, we made to the top during that conveniently timed commercial!" Waluigi said.

"Hey guys!" Falco said to get his brothers' attention. "A giant castle!"

"The three found a large castle, spewing out lots of smoke.

"And just look at that smoke!" Wario pointed out. "Remember, where there's smoke, there's toast and lotsa spaghetti!"

"Or Palutena farted again, but that's not likely," Falco suggested as they approached the castle.

"What's a Palutena anyways?" Waluigi asked as they made it to the front door.

"I dunno, some new Pokémon, I think," the space bird said as he knocked on the door.

"If it's the cops, then nobody's home!" a voice shouted. "And there's certainly no illegal weaponry here!"

"Come on dude, the cops are too stupid to come up here!" Wario responded.

"Oh yeah!" The new voice said. "OK, I'll let you in!" A giant pipe then burst through the clouds behind the three. "Just crawl through this very complex maze of pipes!"

"Why don't you just open the door?" Waluigi asked.

"Oh, so that's what these doohickeies are for then!" The stranger said. Waluigi then face palmed at the remark.

**XxXx**

Falco, Wario, and Waluigi were wandering inside an amazing hallway, with golden walls and rare paintings scattered everywhere. A Malleo look-a-like was right beside them.

"The three, after climbing the breadstalk, found a large castle. The friendly "Malleo Big" gave them a tour of the place," the mystery voice said.

"I knew I wasn't just imagining that voice!" Malleo commented. "Looks like my brother was wrong!"

"The sky works in such mysterious ways," Falco added. "And is a stalker of some sort."

"Well said," Malleo agreed as the four came across a large door. It swung open, revealing the largest room Falco and his friends could imagine.

"Woah! Th-th-is one huge room!" Waluigi stuttered. The room then began to shake, scaring the trio of brothers.

"What's going on?!" Wario shouted in worry.

"Nothing much," the stiff Mario clone replied. "That's just my brother."

"Fee, fi, fo, oh for crying out loud, who gives a damn?" Weegee yelled as he barged into the room, sitting inside a gigantic mech. "Malleo, who are these weirdoes? Are these your nerdy friends from high school?"

"No, this is Wario, Waluigi, and Falco!" Malleo introduced. "Friends, this is my brother, Weegee!"

"It's about time we had some visitors... other than that perverted Snake and those girls we invite on weekends..." Weegee muttered. "Since I'm in a generous mood, I'll give you a choice between two gifts."

"Wow!" Falco said. "What are they?!"

"Well, you could choose between this record containing "Bird is the Word" by Peter Griffin, or you could have that hedgehog who lays golden eggs," the Luigi clone said.

"I did not ask for this," a golden Shadow look-a-like muttered.

"Psst! Falco, Waluigi!" Wario whispered. "I say we nab both of those things while the green idiot isn't looking!"

"Malleo's brother, Weegee, offered the crew a record or a golden, egg-laying hedgehog. However, they decided on stealing both treasures," the voice said.

"What?! You dicks!" Weegee roared.

"The sky has turned on us!" Wario shouted.

"Malleo, get them!" Weegee ordered.

"Hey, Malleo! We'll share our treasure with you if you help us!" Waluig begged. The Mario clone thought about it for a moment, before turning to face his brother.

"How dare you betray me, brother?!" Weegee yelled. "This is madness!"

"Madness?" Malleo said as he leaped into the air, heading straight for his bro. "THIS. IS. SPARTA!" He then landed a very powerful kick on his enemy's head, sending him through the back wall.

"So, I guess this is the part where we run out of here while this place slowly explodes?" Falco asked as mini explosions occurred around them.

"Yep!" Wario said as he grabbed Shadow and the record. "Let's bail this joint!" The four then ran out of the room, leaving Weegee behind.

"Damn you!" Weegee roared. "If I live, I will hunt you all down! After I pay for the insurance on this castle..."

**XxXx**

"They helped me get away from those hungry, freaky hedgehogs, by giving me rocket powered roller skates!" "Olimar the Gingerbread Man" said.

**XxXx**

"They bought me another glass slipper!" "Lucinarella" cheered. "And now that I think about it, that Waluigi fellow looked rather attr-"

**XxXx**

"They helped me take ogre, by giving me free machine guns!" "Ganondrek the Ogre" said.

**XxXx**

"They paid for my therapy, after I encountered that "Veg-Weegee" beast!" "Midna Rapunzel" cheered. Just then, the creepy faced veggie rolled right in front of the camera.

**XxXx**

"Hello," Wario said as he got up from his new, golden desk. "Do you need money extremely fast? Well, look no further! "Jack Bros. Money Company Thingy" has so much counterfeit money, we have no idea on what to do with it! We tried burying it, shredding it, and burning it! In the end, we decided to give it all away... to you!"

"That's right!" Waluigi added. "Lamp oil, rope, bombs! They're all your's my friend... and they're all free!"

"Yep!" Falco chimed in. "Legos, bacon, lawyers, Sonic 06, jellyfish, SSB4's soundtrack, wood, Coconut Guns, Sakurai, Pretty Patties, and all seven Chaos Emeralds! We'll give you the money you need!"

"All you have to do is send us a loaf of bread and read the Epsilon Track, and we'll send you your money!" Malleo joined in.

"And, for a limited time, you can get a free six pack of Falcon Punch!" Captain Falcon added. "As well as a chance to win a can signed by none other than myself! Just call 111-111-URSTPD or Email us at WilyisaBigFatMeanie at SomeRandomEmail dot com!"

"Let's face it: no other company stands up to our glory, and we can't give credit," Wario said.

"Looks like they'll have to come back when they're, say it with me!" Waluigi added.

"MMMMMMMMMMMMM RICHER!" all five of them said.

"The Jack Bros., as well as Malleo, managed to get away from Weegee and lived happily ever after," the voice said. "The end."


End file.
